Bleach World( Or Something like that-): A Fanfiction of WoB and Bleach

[Mu Setsumei Uxukie]

This is a parody to both Bleach AND World of Bleach- neither of which I own(I also don’t own any names that are used in this story except my own, or any games/comics or what have you those names come from.), Bleach being a Manga owned by Tite Kubo, and World of Bleach being an RPG of the Bleach world owned by… Someone- I don’t know who, visit the site to find out(Why not play while you’re there too, eh?).

Also, please note their will be cursing and, some, graphic scenes, so if you are reading this, and are underage, please remember there will be those in their. Thank you. And please don't take this down for the language- I can edit that if need be.

“And that, children, is why we only feed Uncle Dormammu on full moons!” I cheerfully told all the little Arrancars laying in a circle around me as Dormammu came out of his cave to eat the large pile of Hollows stacked before him- at least 5 stories tall. All of the Arrancars were looking on, morbidly fascinated as he devoured all the Hollows in one huge swoop.

“Wh-Where does he put it all?” Oftendistracted(Ironic name for someone always so rapt with attention, I say-) asked me as he cowered on the floor with all the other of his Rank behind him. He was rather short(As was every other Arrancar and Ranked officer-), 4 foot at best, with brown hair that spiked at the end, reaching just at his shoulders. He was wearing fairly standard Arrancar wear- white coat, white hakama pants, and black boots with a black obi holding his pants up.

“The same place I do… Wherever that is-” I muttered as I scratched my chin. Where did I put all those Hollows? Bah- like hell if I care! They were just so scrumptious, how could I not eat a few(hundred) dozen?

It would be blasphemy of the highest caliber if I didn’t!

Though that apparently set them off, as they all had wide eyes as they ran and screamed in the other direction. I didn’t really care what they were screaming, as it was pretty hilarious just watching them scream and run anyway. Especially Oftendistracted, who had released and was running around in circles like a headless chicken.

Didn’t help that there were feathers flying everywhere and he was making sounds that suspiciously sounded like “Bawk”.

“Okay, runt, time for you to go back to Zangetsu for training time.” I told him as I picked him up by the head and started walking him to Fraccion 6’s domain. “But I don’t want to- I am already stronger than a lot of the other Rank 5’s!” Oftendistracted interrupted my strides by swinging his leg and getting me right in the shin, making me wince and drop him.

That was my punting leg the brat just kicked!

But he apparently wasn’t done as he turned around and started to gather an orange energy(Curses! My one(of many-) weaknesses!) orb around his hand. “Chispa Caos!” He shouted as I grabbed his wrist as I tried to stop him. But it had been so long since I was lower Ranked, that I forgot exactly what all these lower kind of moves did, and in that was my mistake as he wanted that. “Gotcha!” He grinned as the orb floated towards my(If I do say so-) well chiseled face.

“... You are getting such a punting when this is done-” Was all I could say before the orb expanded and destroyed the surrounding area in about a 150 feet radius.

The aftermath was there being a 50 foot wide crater right outside my God, damn, lawn!

He knew that wasn’t going to do jack diddly squat to me though, so he pressed on after he got out of the dust the crater made. “Forma de aguja Cero!” He yelled as he sent his palm outward, shooting tiny needle-shaped reiatsu blasts into the dust randomly, hoping to hit me.


Now, I could have humored him and let the attack hit me(Would have bounced off anyway, as I have one of the hardest Hierros in all of Hueco Mundo-), but-

“Super Punt Attack!” I yelled as I appeared behind him and kicked him with the leg he kicked before, and sent him flying(Inadvertently sending him flying all the way to Fraccion 6’s Barracks) with the powerful kick. “It’s super effective!” I muttered as I pushed my Hollow remnant(That looked eerily similar to what those “Hoo-Mahns” called “Glasses”-) back up on my face.

Screw karma- retribution was my bitch!

I sonidoed, however, to Fraccion 6’s area. Just to make sure he arrived there and not in the newly decorated Fraccion 4 Barracks- wouldn’t want Zangetsu to be killing me now because he had one of his subordinates minds broken after seeing it, now would I? Though he’d have to get in line, as I would have killed myself before I went back to that potato infested hell-hole.

Who strings potatoes around like they were Christmas lights, anyway?

Sandy Klaws would be ashamed.

I should probably introduce myself, shouldn’t I? Well too bad, my story my rules.

“Hey, Zangetsu, you seen- oh, I see you have.” I muttered at the end as I saw Oftendistracted sitting perfectly still on Zangetsu’s head so he wouldn’t be stabbed by his horns. Zangestu, being a fellow Legendary Espada(The highest rank a Hollow could be honored with, being the last in our Ranking system-) did not have any set dress code he had to abide by. He had a Hollow mask that covered his entire head, with long orange hair going down his waist, no shoes, and had black hakama pants ripped at their bottom, being held up by a white sash. He wore no shirt, showing his white upper body to the world, with red fur at his wrists and neck(Extremely pale guy with long hair and fluffy fur on his body, reminds me of a bishounen- don’t tell him I said that though, or else I’m going to get the ass-beating of a lifetime.).

“Why are you always in your Released form, Zangetsu?” I asked him as I approached. “Scares the crap out of everyone- I remember the first time I released, all those Arancars wet themselves!” He gave out a barking laugh as he started making his way into his Barracks, me following behind him. “Yeah- how could I forget?” I muttered.

Someone had to clean up the puddles.

“Anyway, what brings you here?” He asked as we stepped into his Quarters. “Just making sure Oftendistracted was returned safely.” I told him as I looked around the room. “Didn’t want my ki- I mean, his attack to have backfired and sent him somewhere he shouldn’t be, ri-” I stopped as I finally took notice of his… friend on his bed, apparently still out of it from previous actions. “Oh dear God-” I muttered as I pinched the bridge of my nose in my hand.

“Oh yeah- where is he, anyway? It’s almost time for the weekly training session with all the Arrancars and Elite Fraccions!” He said jovially as he went about looking for his sword under all the clothes strewn about the room. Apparently, he forgot it when he first went outside. And also apparently, didn’t notice the now red-faced Arrancar that was on his head, looking at Julia. Just goes to show- those masks prevent anyone from feeling anything.

Helps when you have a hungry Hollow that is trying to bite your head off, or a pesky Shinigami who wants nothing more than to lob your head in two. Ah, memories-

Or at least I think those were memories- the splitting of your head into two pieces tends to make you forget things.

“Yeah- no clue! I’m gonna head out though, as I have… things to do.” Yeah.

Things.

“I like your new hat, though! Real strapping!” I yelled out from over my shoulder as I exited the chamber. I’ll let him deal with that one. He was King at one point- I’m sure he could handle it. Probably.

“Guess I’ll-” I was interrupted as a small Hollow- a Devouring Beast, if I recall- came up to me after I left Fraccion 6’s Barracks. Probably going looking for Zangestu, I mused to myself. “HELP! SHINIGAMI ATTACKING!” Or not, I guess.

“Calm down- what are they attacking? Hollows, our Base, or our Manga?” You’d think that last one would be a joke-

Yeah, you see a lot of -I am a loser- after a few years.

“... Yes-” I knocked him out right after that comment. Smart-ass.

“Guess I really DO have something to do today.” I spoke to myself as I went off towards Kyoto City. Normally, I wouldn’t do anything about this, and let the other, stronger, Hollows deal with it, but recently, I’ve had more, ah, motivation to be more active in our… rights?

Do Hollows have rights? Hell- do the dead even NEED rights?

Whatever- anyway, as of recently, I had attained a very prestigious position. So prestigious, none of the Espada had even been granted the right(Of course, there were people in the position who had taken control of the seats- but that was beside the point.), which said something of the rarity of the situation. I- was a Peacekeeper. Pathetic sounding name(Especially for a Hollow-), eh? But it was still a very high position.

After so long, both sides- Shinigami and Hollow- began to have issues. With each other? No- but amongst their own race. High ranking Hollows attacking poor, innocent ones- it was sickening. I’m sure it was happening on the other side, as well, as both sides decided to make this position. The Race Genocide-it was called. Many good Hollows- and Shinigami, as well- had died during those times, killed by their own race.

Despicable.

Both sides were hit hard- had to resort to actually KILLING humans to recruit more soldiers before the other side could, and in turn gain more forces than the opposition and completely outmatch them. I would know, as I am one of said humans.

One of the last, actually, as almost all the ones turned from my time either died, or…

Gave up.

The last one I don’t like to think about.

Anyway, the position was made to stop those killers and any future ones like them. We were tasked with… cleansing those trouble makers. Only if they resisted, however. Those that didn’t were spared.

Almost no survivors made it.

Another reason why I was going was because I had just recently changed Fraccions(Again-) to my old Fraccion where I had started out as nothing more than a wee-Huge Hollow.

… That came out wrong-

But the Fraccion members(Both old and new.) don’t exactly… trust(Read: Like) me, so to get their “trust”, I am going to try and protect our home!

Or the more likely option- Die trying.

Again? I’m not sure how that works-

I made it to Kyoto finally, however, so those thoughts would have to wait. Glancing around showed me most of the Espada were already there- fighting the few Captains that Soul Society could spare for this endeavor. Looked like they were going to be fended off, however, so I don’t think I would have to get involved.

“Die Hollow!” I just love it when I’m wrong. I sighed as I jumped forward, right off the building I was crouching on, and stood in mid-air like it was nothing new. Just like that pig I saw awhile back-

Like I said- I’ve seen it all.

“Who decided to attack me this time?” I asked as I saw the crouched form of the one who tried to slash at me like I was a ham at the deli aisle. “Hmmm- Cextra was it?” I muttered as I saw the Veteran Shinigami. He, like most other Veteran Shinigami and Privaron Espadas, chose to differentiate as far from the Elite Shinigami and Elite Fraccions uniforms as he could(Because honestly- those things were God awful. Nothing but White and Black with the allowed colored shirt or scarf or what have you here or there.) He had blue-black hair, tied in a ponytail behind his back, reaching his shoulder blades. He wore a green t-shirt with a pendant around his neck that looked like a pedestal of some sort with a sword stuck in it. As far as pants went, he still seemed to wear standard Shinigami wear- but with green stripes running down the sides, as well as green ninja sandals(He really likes green, doesn’t he?). He appeared to be around 5’6 with some form of ranked officer’s badge on his arm as well.

“Not here for friendly tea and chill, I suppose?” I asked rhetorically as he grabbed his blade and dashed towards me. “Of course not- no one ever wants to tea and chill.” I sighed as I dodged his first slash and tried to backhand him, but he shoved his blade in front of my hand at the last second, and sparks went flying. Can’t seem to pierce me with his blade unless he puts force into an attack it would seem. He continued on as he retracted his blade and tried to pierce me in the left lung.

My favorite lung! How dare he?!

“My FFL!” I yelled as I stopped his blade with my hand and punched him in the face, sending him flying. It’s what he deserves for threatening my favorite -I am a loser- lung. Though he didn’t seem to like that as he stopped his free fall and took aim with his hand.

“Hado Number 33: Sokatsui!” He yelled as a red orb was sent flying at me. “Ah man- red is my 3rd favorite color! I can’t destroy something so great a color!” I whined as the orb just hit me and exploded. He apparently expected me to dodge, block, or counter, as he had shunpoed behind me to catch me off-guard at any turn, but seeing as how I was veiled in smoke, he didn’t know where I was exactly.

Flame on I suppose, then.

“Salvo la Llama!” I muttered as I swiped my hand across the air, scattering the rest of the smoke and revealing ten orbs a quarter the size of the Kido he just used floating in front of me. “Before I do this, I would just like to say-” I appeared behind him and pointed under him with the tip of my finger.

“Pozo de Gravedad.”

And then all hell broke loose as a black beam screeched to a halt beneath his feet, causing a distortion before a black construct that tried to suck him in manifested, causing his movements to cease as he struggled to escape the vacuum-like monstrosity as my orbs came zooming in on our area, about to explode.

“It’s times like these that I’m glad our own attacks don’t hurt us.” I mused to myself as the orbs expanded to twice their size before exploding into pillars of flame that anyone with even the tiniest of spiritual sense felt.

“Hm. That can’t have beaten him- so where could he be?” The mixture of the flaming heat and the vortex(Which strangely never suck up these flames- or anything, now that I think about it. They just seem to slow other’s movements.) shouldn’t have knocked him out- he was the second highest Rank someone could get, of course he shouldn’t have been beaten by this! But the Vortex was still in play so he can’t have escaped out of the flames, which I’m sure are currently ebbing away what little stamina he could have at this point, so he can’t waste anymore time, which meant-

“O Lord, mask of flesh and bone, all creation, flutter of wings-” He would be attacking now. Though why he would use the same Kido that didn’t work before did not add up, which also probably meant-

“-The tone of the spear striking fills the lone castle!” Niju Eisho. How I do very much hate it. “Hado Number 63: Raikouhou!” My flames weakened the attack, however, so it wasn’t able to get all the way through with its intended effect, and just ended up making me grunt and pushing me away from my flames, leaving a scorch mark on my hand that I used to block. It did, however, break my concentration enough on the vortex for him to escape both it and the flames that were left after his attack.

He looked like -I am a loser- though, as his shirt was burnt black, his hair looked like it was singed at the ends, and he had second degree burns almost over his entire arms and a third degree one right above his eyes on his scowling forehead. Huh. He didn’t seem very amused by that.

I mean, I was- but that didn’t matter at this point I suppose.

“Why don’t we do this like men, eh? Mono-e-Mono! No fancy spells or elegant swings of a blade! Just our dukes! What do you say-” That was interrupted by a punch to the face that caused my lip to bleed. Guess that was a yes, then-

I countered by going out with a kick that he jumped over and then tried to hit me with a haymaker, which I side-stepped as I spun and sent out my other leg that hit him right in the cheek and sent him flying. “Never really have been a Melee fighter, though I guess there is a time for anything-” I muttered as I sonidoed right above his flying form and tried to clothesline his body. Sadly(For me-) He saw my outstretched arm and took the opportunity to spin around in mid-air and tried to break my arm with a kick, using the momentum I gave him to do so.

“-I am a loser- on toast!” I yelled as his leg nearly ripped my arm off my shoulder as he back-springed off my now very broken arm to get in front of me, a smirk now on his face in place of the scowl that was marring his face before.

Don’t worry folks- it will be back on there only momentarily!

I roared as I ripped my arm off from my shoulder. He knew almost immediately what was going to happen the second I touched my arm, but he apparently still wasn’t used to it yet, as he winced a little before schooling his features. It was all I needed. I appeared in front of him when he started to wince and punched him with my right arm(Damn it, he broke my favorite -I am a loser- arm, too! Bitch!), the one still attached, in his stomach, right as he recovered from he wince, which made his eyes widen as he wheezed up spittle(Not to be mistaken with its brethren, Skittles-) and crouched down from the force of the blow. I then proceeded to elbow his head, further causing him to bend down more as I then tried to knee his face with my knee-

-Which would have happened had he not sliced my left leg off at the thigh(Son of a bitch! There goes my favorite -I am a loser- leg, too!!!) though. “Bitch!” I yelled as blood started flowing everywhere. Bifurcated right in the middle of the femur- that was gonna hurt in the morning. At least it was a clean cut, I thought to myself. Those don’t hurt nearly as much as some of the other cuts I’ve seen(Or felt-) before.

Remember kids- it hurts when it’s cut in two, but it kill’s when you are, too.

That had no relevance to the current plot whatsoever, but it’s still fun to say.

I winced as I kneeled on my one good leg, having to use my arm to steady myself on the… Sky. Glancing up, I saw Cextra use shunpo to come close and stab his Zanpakuto into my neck. So much for Hand-to-Hand, then. Just goes to show you, not even for a minute can you trust a-


SQUELCH

-Hollow. “You know, you’d think after all this time that you would know better.”I told him as my left arm pulled back, taking my sword with it, straight out of his left lung. ‘Is he still on about that?’ You ponder? Yes.

I am.

“It was a good fight anyway, Shinigami.” I told him as he started to drop to the ground hundreds of feet below us. If I hadn’t grabbed him, that is. “Maybe next time, Cextra. “ I said to him as he grunted and vanished into thin air.


That’s the way things work, around here.

You see, our world is governed by three separate bodies, entities, if you will, that say who will win, who will die, who get’s the last cookie from Dark’s Bake Sale-

Etc, etc.

Without their consent, no major events can take place. No deaths(By another’s hand, I should add, as it is still possible to kill oneself.), no permanent hostile takeovers(there can, still, be invasions that last an hour or two if our “Bases” are broken, allowing the opposing side to enter and start attacking anyone they see fit, even our Race’s last line of defense(Which- might I add- also can’t be destroyed) and in doing so, drop the morale of the attacked side, allowing soldiers from the other side to get their own morale boost, and in turn allowing the attacking side to gain more strength in the long haul through better training-), no murderous rampage(Hey! That’s where I come in-), no nothing.

Extortion? Nope. Blackmail? You wish. Gambling circuits? One of the first things to go. Unfair and unjust attacking of lower Ranks? Fat chance. Spamming on the various global networks(Yeah- we have those here.) through which we contact friends and even enemy’s asking if they want to do battle? Well, that’s where the peacemakers come in.

We have a bigger job than to just prevent others from killing unjustly- we prevent all sorts of actions not allowed by the three entities(Named Hitori, “King of the North”,Warusaki, “Senpai”... Don’t ask, and LsmJudoka, “OSkomodo”, not uh, sure what that last one means, but, it’s there-), such as spamming the different social networks available to both Shinigami and Hollow, making sure no one cheats in battles(Ever see someone pelt rotten eggs at a person in Bankai so that they couldn’t hide from them because they smelt like rotten eggs? I know I have-), killing hoomahns to make them into soldiers(Doing that with Shinigami is easy- making a Plus a Hollow? Well- let’s just say I have never seen such fat Devouring Beasts before.), and a plethora of other acts.

Of course, these entities are new to here(Obviously, as if they were here before, The Race Killings would not have happened.), coming not too long ago, around the same time I was killed and made a Hollow. Sucks they didn’t come earlier- but what can you do?

Turn yourself into a Shinigami and be cleansed, only to become a Shinigami in the process?

I think I’ll stick with being the ‘Monster’ thank you.

Well, looks like we were able to push he Shinigami back anyway- for now. They always came back within hours of failing, anyway, so they would be coming back when everyone was sleeping, more than likely.

Bastards.

Now what to do- the Shinigami were gone, the Hollows had went back inside, and I hadn’t tea nor people to be able to tea and chill, so that option was out. Shrugging, I brought out my phone(Looks like those “Apple” products those “Hoo-Mahns” have- stupid name, really. Named after a fruit- or maybe named after the forbidden fruit, instead, because you could see those kinds of things on the device(It’s amazing what women can do with their legs-), not sure which, really.) and activated it, going on ‘Hollow Hook-Up’.

‘Zero Friends!’

Aw, crippling loneliness. My old friend.

I went through all the Hollows that were online at the moment, seeing if any of them were up to talk or not(Of course they weren’t- this is me we’re talking about!), seeing if any wanted to fight(Loathe I am to admit it, especially as a Hollow, I hated fighting with a passion(A passion so strong, if shown to a woman, they would be without a doubt, in need of a towel.).) , or to see if I could watch a battle(Which I am curiously indifferent about. Meh.) , and to my surprise(And relief, as it meant I didn’t have to go out and… Make friends- I shudder at the thought.) I found one I could spectate.